Perfection is something that I have dealt with and at times struggled with throughout my life. The need and desire to have everything perfect and if it wasn't sending tons of time until it was. Over the years I have come to recognize when it is rearing it's head and realize how much the need to do and be perfect was holding me back from doing things, negatively impacting my life and causing me much emotional upheaval.
Most times I am pretty good and seeing when this need for perfection pops up and release this need. Recently I had another opportunity to learn and release this again.
I have been working on this website for many months and doing much on it the last month in particular imputing the information of new people to the directory.
Last week I hit a block. My days were filled with frustration and annoyance. When I was editing the site and getting it “Perfect” just like how I saw it in my head, the editor program I am using kept changing my layouts and changing it to the ones that it thought were best. Each day my anger, frustration and annoyance grew as I wasted much time redoing things I had just edited the day before. I was so frustrated I even contacted customer service to see what the problem was, only to learn that is what their ADI editor does, there is nothing I can do other than use their EDITOR version, to do so I would need to learn a whole new way to edit the site, something I felt I just didn't have the time to do.
So I spent many days in a space of anger and frustration, using all my time to make the site “perfect” like how I saw it in my mind, not making any progress towards getting more information onto the site to help more people.
Then last week I had an ah ha moment.
I was sitting in front of my computer seeing all the things I had to redo because the ADI program changed my layouts to what it felt was best not what I changed and wanted. While I was sitting there I realized “Oh My Gosh” that Ms. Perfection was back, stopping me and my progress in my tracks. It didn't matter if the site was perfect in layout and colors, what mattered and was more important was that the information was out there for people to see and be able to be helped by.
So I wished Ms. Perfection good bye, thank her for the learning experience and the opportunity to clear and let this go, then continued to edit the site, getting more done in 1 hour than I had in a week.
Now I have a completely quirky site, different colors and layouts throughout, working with what is available for me to choose from. It's not perfect or the vision I have in my head however I am at peace with that. The site does not need to be perfect, it just needs to be there and available for people who are looking and needing this information. I am embracing and loving these quirks and getting to a place where I am OK with it while I learn to use the EDITOR program and realize my vision, happy that I am not letting perfection hold me back from pursing my passion of creating an online community dedicated to helping people one their life journey and live the very best life possible.
Empowering Balance
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